Your recent facial protrusion has caused quite a stir
But a pornstache on a pitcher is grounds for concern
You may look like inspector clouseau from the Pink Panther
Yet when you pitch to Ichiro, it's like a gay porn waiting to happen
Yes we have all made mistakes in the past
Gerbeau jeans, power bangs, and pillbox caps
That's why I offer friendly advise
Shave that thing off before it ruins your life
Why none of your teammates have not made the claim
Maybe it's because they want you to look lame
Please Pavano, lose the pornstache
For that growth on your face guarantees no female ass
